I am disheartned

My morale is low. I'm feeling down and out. I feel lonely. I really wish that I had someone {even a friend to just wrap their arms around me and tell me that it's all going to be okay. That's all I want is that asking to much? I am currently going through a faith slump and trying my hardest not to fall out of Islam. Please make dua{Pray} for me that I pull my self out of this hole that I have crawled in Insha Allah{God willing}. I have a question. When you first converted did it take a while before you felt any connection in prayer? When I pray it kind of feels like movements. Maybe it's cause I'm just learning and I don't really know what I'm saying so it just kind of feels like I'm giving lip service. And it's really hard to concentrate on just my prayer. A billion things flutter through my mind as soon as I make my intention and it's hard to push them out of the way and just focus. Any advice would be lovely. But even if you don't comment please remember me in your prayers.

P.S. Not that you wanted to know this but I think my period is starting soon and I may just be insanely imbalanced for the moment on top of everything else.

Sorry

I have been neglecting you. I've been on here every day, but I'm dishearted and I just go ehh. I'll just write something tomorrow. Well, tommorrow has come and gone, and I still feel disheartend but alas the show must go on. I have figured out that I will be alone forever. There is no one out there for me and I have completely given up on love and marriage. There I said it. Now that you know we can move on with our lives. With that said I have been avoiding all of my married friends, because they all seem so happy. Instead, I've been opting to spend more time with my single friends because.....well frankly misery loves company. But, I figure it's time to come out of my funk. Even if I don't think I will ever be re-married because I'm damaged goods, it's too much work being depressed. lol. So instead I figure if I have to work at something I might as well work at being a better person. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna pull my self up by the boot straps, and get my self together. After Christmas I'm going to go on a fast during which I'm not going to watch any tv and spend no more than an hour on the computer after work. I'm also going to read the quran everyday and pray every single prayer on time and not listen to any music. Well I'll post an update later, about what was going on when I wasn't posting. I just wanted to get that out of my system.